Five feelings: pt 1

A visual journal

Hi friends - I’ve missed you all over the past few weeks! May flew by much faster than I would have liked. I went to Peru on a work trip (my first international trip since the pandemic), we had dear friends from London visit us in Los Angeles, and we’ve begun preparations for IVF this summer. While I haven’t been writing or reading as much—June gloom in southern California means more netflix and lots of naps—I have been dreaming up new ideas for this newsletter, including the edition you’re reading now.

Five Feelings is a new visual component of this newsletter for paid subscribers that will go out on Sunday and include five photos that evoked a specific feeling during the week; this first edition is free for everyone. The photos, while only significant to me, are a reminder to be present and pay attention to my feelings throughout the week. When I notice an emotion, I name it and then I take a picture to look back on later. And I want to share some of those images here.

Think of this as a visual journal of the in-between moments, the ones when you feel a flutter during an ordinary, everyday experience. Those moments matter, possibly more than the significant events and deserve to be cataloged and named.

I hope this little project encourages you to consider your own feelings throughout the week. To name them and acknowledge them as they come and go. Maybe you’ll even want to snap your own photos, either on your phone or in your mind, to look back on later.

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Feeling: Seen

This little pup appeared in the car next to us while my husband grabbed a few items in Trader Joe’s. We watched one another for a few moments before they hopped to the other side of the car to greet another stranger.

**don’t worry: the windows were cracked and the temp was safe for the dog to be in the car

Feeling: Balanced

As we prep for IVF, I’ve been trying to give up caffeine (it’s not going well). On Friday, I caved during a work meeting and ordered a coffee followed by a matcha latte. I thought I might feel guilty or mad at myself. Instead, I told myself that my joy is also (and perhaps the most important) part of my health.

Feeling: Alive

This photo is from two weeks ago while I was in Peru. Before the pandemic, I traveled all of the time. My husband and I lived in London for two years; we spent a year backpacking in Asia and South America in our twenties. Traveling feels like coming home and it’s when I recognize myself the most.

Feeling: Proud

Two weeks ago, I gave up alcohol. I don’t love how dependent I’ve become on wine to cope with stress or detach from my feelings. I turned our bar cart into a home for plants and extra books. I still miss wine and plan to add it back into my life later, but for now, this little cart makes me proud of myself for listening to my body.

Feeling: Sheltered

The view when I walk outside our apartment and look up. A reminder that the world will hold me when it all feels like too much.

Wishing you all the best this week — see you on Tuesday xx

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