It's the weather

Photo by gryffyn m on Unsplash

I keep trying to write something profound and beautiful but it all sounds like bullshit and like I’m trying too hard and like I haven’t written in months which is opposite of the truth because I’ve been buried in book writing for weeks now, consumed with my voice and stories to the point of ad nauseam.

I keep trying to write something because I have been ignoring this space, not on purpose, but because time goes so fast at the end of summer and I can never catch my breath. It’s at this moment each year that I realize I’m older and the year is nearing its end and for me that feels so heavy and overwhelming. 

It’s the weather too, because it rules my emotions even though I wish it were otherwise. All of last week (which felt like a year, really) Los Angeles was in triple digits and while I have air conditioning (thank god) it screeched every hour and threatened to let me drown in my own sweat. Fire followed the heat, which is often the case in California, an…