Let it all fall away

Thoughts on thirst, change, and the allure of promises

Photo by ᴇᴍɪ on Unsplash

It’s about this time every year when I begin to notice the thirst. It feels like desperation, a crawling and clawing towards change, a need for a dramatic shift in the weather. In Los Angeles particularly, the air becomes unbearably hot, the desert having suffocated its people for too long. Bodies move like slugs, so eager and ready for change, for shade and water. We want the rush of rivers so cold our limbs go numb until new blood runs through them.

I’ve never been one to shy away from discomfort, at least this is what I tell myself and what I must believe when I look at all the places I’ve moved, the jobs I’ve kept then left, the ‘yeses’ I’ve shouted at every opportunity. Maybe the discomfort has been in staying, which yes, now that I think about it, is definitely true. Shedding layers is easy because it means change; it means becoming a different version of my former self. This is not what I find to be terrifying. Rather, it’s the sitting still while only s…