moon and midnight
We spend three days by the sea because the water is where we heal and also where we remember. For you, it’s the surf, for me, it's the lake, the salt and sediment running through our veins, having the power to stop and start a heart beating.
At the bar with the wall of wine bottles, Bob Dylan sings and we muse about change while bringing red to our lips, while taking selfies. I say we should record the night because what if this is it and we want to look back (but also what if we don’t)? Getting here has felt difficult, altering our chemistry and any future we’d envisioned, but this next step swallows the air. A million what-ifs and a million fears. How do people do this? And when will it end?
I want to say all of this, but instead, we pay our tab and find the stairs to the beach, leave our shoes on the sand. The water soaks our jeans, and you follow me, but only until the water hits your knees. I’m tempted to swim out, to test the horizon line and let the waves carry me into the mist. Instead, I search for shells. The sand is swept clean at this hour, the tide so high it’s kissing the steps, and only as we leave does one appear. I scoop it into my palm and rinse away the sand. The shell is streaked with moon and midnight.
In the bathroom back at the wine bar, a purple octopus is painted on the wall over the door, its tentacles reaching across the ceiling. I read online that ancient myths believe our universe may be a remnant of one that existed before this, the octopus the only survivor. How lonely, I think. No one ever talks about how lonely it is to survive.
The next day, we drive back to the city as layers of fog melt away. We go home because home is where what’s next awaits us—every fear, every hope, every possibility—but all I can think about is how I can finally see the sky again. It was always there, but now that the fog has lifted, I can see it. Hello, blue sky, I whisper as we drive in quiet, the wind carrying us home.
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Beautiful x
This is so beautiful and reflective, like the lake that holds your heart. I could feel the emotions surrounding me, like the subtle salt in the air by the sea, that soaks into your hair and skin without even realising. Such a gorgeous piece, thank you for writing this! 🤍