when sadness lingers

one year since everything changed

Photo by Natasha Reddy on Unsplash

On this day one year ago, I was wandering the halls of a hospital in search of my sister. I forgot it was a holiday, only remembering when the machine in the parking garage wouldn’t take my money. “Happy holiday” flashed across the screen. I only realized the date when I saw the tiny flags taped to the nursing station desk, when the doctor told my sister she might be able to see the fireworks from the window in her room.

My husband and I had driven through the night. Twenty-four hours earlier and we’d been celebrating our anniversary, shopping at an outdoor mall, drinking iced coffees in the sun. It seemed so superficial after the fact, us trying on new clothes in Madewell and throwing pennies into the water fountain. We had takeout pizza for dinner and left our shopping bags in the corner of the bedroom to unpack the next day, not knowing six weeks would pass before we’d finally pull off the tags and hang the clothes in our closet. 

The drive from Los …