I was prescribed a HSG last year, I didn't know what it was and I drove myself to the hospital with a profound sense of wrongness clinging between my ribs. I didn't think about the physical pain, that was ok for me. I cried so much knowing my tubes weren't working correctly, staring at the gray screen with almost no movement in it. I drove myself to work after, and spent the a few days almost struggling to understand, to take time to digest - or at least swallow - my new reality. My path is still rough and dark, coming out of a failed IVF cycle. And I'm so bad in asking for help. Reading about women going through similar situations at least take out the loneliness one can feel. I wish to find an online community where to feel normal again. I wish you all the best, to y'all and to me too.
Oh, Ale. I have nothing to say except I'm so sorry and this journey is unfair and brutal. We're not to IVF yet, but the prospect terrifies me. Reading others' stories surrounding fertility and ttc has been the only way I've felt a bit less lonely as well. Please reach out anytime. You can email me. This road is not for the faint of heart. xo
Thank you so much for sharing this post - it’s especially serendipitous because I’ve been going through a bit of a rough patch myself trying to stay on my feet after being laid off in the fall, which mounting medical costs due to my own chronic illness has made a challenge.
My best friend texted me yesterday to see how I was doing and instead of glossing over it, I told her the truth about what’s been going on and within 24 hours she put up a GoFundMe for me...and she couldn’t have been happier to do it.
Historically I’m terrible at asking for help, and your post hit the nail on the head as to why - I hate the idea of being a burden to others. This sentence you wrote was exactly what I needed to hear (or, well, read) tonight: “There is power in admitting our inabilities and relying on those around us to hold us up and care for us when we can’t do this for ourselves.”
I hope you have a fast and easy recovery - thank you again for sharing this.
Wow. What an incredible friend. And good on you for speaking your truth. It's so hard but also so worth it. Thank you for reading and wishing you the best in the months ahead xx
Oof. This whole piece put me in my feels. I struggle endlessly with asking for help, and I'm not sure it's something I will ever get good at. I don't think it's something I ever saw growing up. It's not something I ever learned to do.
I am so sorry to hear how this journey has been going for you and I truly hope that good news is coming to you soon. Thank you for sharing your story, for being so vulnerable.
I really appreciate your kind words about my Substack. It really means a lot. I'm really trying to grow something here, and I'm so glad my writing has resonated with you. If there is ever anything I can do to help you, to support you, anything at all, let me know. I am here.
Sharing your story is encouraging others and is an excellent reminder to all of us to ask for help when needed and to also be available to help others. Hoping this procedure brings good news and a baby in the future.
Kayti this is a lovely piece and such an important thing for us to figure out - how to be cared for! Wishing you all the best on your baby journey (my son and DIL have been going through similar stuff and I know how hard it is). Thanks so much for linking my essay. The tag, though, is not me - now I know there's another Lisa Renee on Substack!
Sending so much love your way. Chronic illness has also forced me to be my own advocate like your sister, and I too find it difficult to ask for help, but getting better at it! Hope you have a swift recovery from this procedure and the answers you're seeking x
Chronic illness can be such a difficult and lonely journey. My sister has taught me so much and has showed such incredible strength while navigating an impossible system. I'm sorry you've been forced to be your own advocate, and I also applaud your strength. Sending love back your way xo
“We learn to be cared for.” So true and also so incredibly hard, for me anyway. Such deep vulnerability exists in surrendering yourself to someone else’s care, to receive what is being offered. Thanks for such a wonderfully written piece and lesson.
I feel
Like this
Also
Thank you
I was prescribed a HSG last year, I didn't know what it was and I drove myself to the hospital with a profound sense of wrongness clinging between my ribs. I didn't think about the physical pain, that was ok for me. I cried so much knowing my tubes weren't working correctly, staring at the gray screen with almost no movement in it. I drove myself to work after, and spent the a few days almost struggling to understand, to take time to digest - or at least swallow - my new reality. My path is still rough and dark, coming out of a failed IVF cycle. And I'm so bad in asking for help. Reading about women going through similar situations at least take out the loneliness one can feel. I wish to find an online community where to feel normal again. I wish you all the best, to y'all and to me too.
Oh, Ale. I have nothing to say except I'm so sorry and this journey is unfair and brutal. We're not to IVF yet, but the prospect terrifies me. Reading others' stories surrounding fertility and ttc has been the only way I've felt a bit less lonely as well. Please reach out anytime. You can email me. This road is not for the faint of heart. xo
Loved, saved, shared. I have a special hate for insurance and the medical system
Really beautiful Kayti .
I love this. Thank you for sharing. 💗
Thank you so much for sharing this post - it’s especially serendipitous because I’ve been going through a bit of a rough patch myself trying to stay on my feet after being laid off in the fall, which mounting medical costs due to my own chronic illness has made a challenge.
My best friend texted me yesterday to see how I was doing and instead of glossing over it, I told her the truth about what’s been going on and within 24 hours she put up a GoFundMe for me...and she couldn’t have been happier to do it.
Historically I’m terrible at asking for help, and your post hit the nail on the head as to why - I hate the idea of being a burden to others. This sentence you wrote was exactly what I needed to hear (or, well, read) tonight: “There is power in admitting our inabilities and relying on those around us to hold us up and care for us when we can’t do this for ourselves.”
I hope you have a fast and easy recovery - thank you again for sharing this.
Wow. What an incredible friend. And good on you for speaking your truth. It's so hard but also so worth it. Thank you for reading and wishing you the best in the months ahead xx
Oof. This whole piece put me in my feels. I struggle endlessly with asking for help, and I'm not sure it's something I will ever get good at. I don't think it's something I ever saw growing up. It's not something I ever learned to do.
I am so sorry to hear how this journey has been going for you and I truly hope that good news is coming to you soon. Thank you for sharing your story, for being so vulnerable.
I really appreciate your kind words about my Substack. It really means a lot. I'm really trying to grow something here, and I'm so glad my writing has resonated with you. If there is ever anything I can do to help you, to support you, anything at all, let me know. I am here.
Sharing your story is encouraging others and is an excellent reminder to all of us to ask for help when needed and to also be available to help others. Hoping this procedure brings good news and a baby in the future.
Thank you, Janet. Big hugs xo
Kayti this is a lovely piece and such an important thing for us to figure out - how to be cared for! Wishing you all the best on your baby journey (my son and DIL have been going through similar stuff and I know how hard it is). Thanks so much for linking my essay. The tag, though, is not me - now I know there's another Lisa Renee on Substack!
Thank you, Lisa. Wishing your son and DIL strength during their own journey.
Also, I'm so sorry! I've updated the tag. Loved your essay dearly xx
Sending so much love your way. Chronic illness has also forced me to be my own advocate like your sister, and I too find it difficult to ask for help, but getting better at it! Hope you have a swift recovery from this procedure and the answers you're seeking x
Chronic illness can be such a difficult and lonely journey. My sister has taught me so much and has showed such incredible strength while navigating an impossible system. I'm sorry you've been forced to be your own advocate, and I also applaud your strength. Sending love back your way xo
“We learn to be cared for.” So true and also so incredibly hard, for me anyway. Such deep vulnerability exists in surrendering yourself to someone else’s care, to receive what is being offered. Thanks for such a wonderfully written piece and lesson.
Such a timely essay for someone I know. I sent it to her. She’s struggling a lot of after just having twins and is refusing to ask anyone for help.