How to feel like yourself again

Notes from the trails in Patagonia

We were sitting on the beach, watching the waves roll in. A yellow dog ran across the sand, playing in the licks of seafoam, the owner trailing a few paces behind. Most of the shore was deserted by then, the lifeguards packing up for the day, a few last families gathering up sandy umbrellas and sunburnt children.

When do you feel most like yourself? My husband was staring at the water, glistening with the final rays of sun, when he asked me this. It felt like a complicated question, one I thought would be easy to answer by this point in my life. But age is no warrant for wisdom, and accumulating years doesn’t give you automatic access to the deeper parts of yourself—not without doing the necessary work and turning inward.

In Patagonia, I finally answered him, a bit surprised by my own response. It had been years since we were there, yet it was the first place, or rather, the first image of myself, that came to mind.

Christmas day, 2015. Waiting for a bus to take us back to town after …